Pages

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The inevitable relatives + Random (sports) Thoughts

    Where are you reading this column? Yes, you? Maybe you are in a movie theater waiting for Lincoln to start. Or maybe, just maybe you made the right decision to see it's superior counterpart-Flight. Maybe you are still reminiscing of the Turkey day feast you ate on Thursday. Or, perhaps, a personal favorite, pretending to answer a work text, call or e-mail while just trying to avoid your "over-staying their welcome" relatives. {Editors Note: If you are unemployed (yours truly), a school or "really important" e-mail is just as effective} So where are your favorite places to read this column?! Please don't say while "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl" or while "Hiring Mike Brown". That's the definition of TMI.
    Before I give you some of my comical yet somewhat overbearing random (sports) thoughts that make you question "Is this kid a younger version of an uber-talented TMZ blogger or the prodigy of 'The Sports Guy'????" I hope you think the latter. Speaking of holiday spirit (what?) I want to thank the world of sports. Seriously, I already have been called by some "somewhat unsocial", what would happen if there were no sports? No fake-trades? And heaven-forbid...NO RUMORS? What would we talk about???? How "everyone is doing" or how "everyone's weekend was?" Who has an answer for that kinda stuff? Other than whether to eat chocolate chip or poppy-seed muffins, nothing else keeps my brain racked and thinking like sports does. So, thank you!

....When someone describes to me a talented athlete, the first two questions I want to ask are "Is he/she black?" or "What color skin?" That is not racist.

....Is there a worse name than Lane Kiffin? You could cure cancer but if your name was Lane Kiffin everyone would assume you're an epic failure.

....Is it possible to frown while watching a Chad Ochocinco touchdown celebration? Seriously, try it. Not possible.

....Who did the most for the Boston/New England area... David Ortiz, Terry Francona, Adam Vinatieri or Paul Revere?

....Who would you rather your daughter end up with... Tim Tebow, Tony Romo or Tom Brady? Brady because of the UGG's.

....Told you the Giants figured out the Ebbs and Flows of an NFL season. Don't believe me? (See, XLII and XLVI)

....Rajon Rondo will be the NBA's Most Valuable Player. Quick, add him to he Paul Revere list above^^^

....The best teams in college football the past 2 seasons are who? 2011 LSU and 2012 Ohio St. Yet Alabama will win 2 straight National Championships if they take care of business against Georgia. Sorry Notre Dame.

....Urban Meyer is the man. Deserves coach of the year. How do you keep 60+ college football athletes motivated when they can't play in a bowl? Honorable Mention: Bill O' Brien.

....The NBA is switching from a position dominated league to an insanely athletic position-less game. Sorry Lakers, the Heat are the model team.

....If you put together a team anchored by Damian Lillard, MKG and "The Brow" you would have a playoff team.

....Lillard just became a top 10 point guard. Where did he go to college, again? WEBER ST!!!!

....I wouldn't let Geoff Petrie organize my apartment's pizza order.

....How have the Sacramento Kings not gotten into an in-organization fight yet?! I had 3/2 odds. It was more of a surety than Brittney Griner being half man.

....Which will go first Tony Romo, Jerry Jones or Mark Cuban's unbearable enthusiasm?

....If I was to compare Doug Mcdermott to Doug Martin would I need cross-racial and cross-sport permission?

....If it wasn't for the month of March would college basketball be less watched then Stephen A. Smith and his botched attempt at a sports talk show?

....As a Raiders fan all I hope for is that we don't let another rookie running back break the 200 yard mark. Oh, and a Terelle Pryor sighting.

....Does anyone else look around when they board a plane and wonder what "Lost" character everyone is going to be? Or if this side fought that side of the plane who would win? Or, who's going to be the hero?

....Charlie Batch is still in the league?

....If your teams starting quarterback's last name rhymes with Zick, Moethlisberger or Dradford I suggest getting a quality backup. Not one that rhymes with Latch^^^

....God loves Cleveland and Seattle about as much as all the wives in America love that there are 3 football games on Thanksgiving day. Back to back to back!

....The Buccaneers are silently becoming the NFL's most dangerous offense.

....Imagine RGIII in the playoffs... (I just got the chills)

....What state is having the better year- Florida or Colorado? No Sandy in Florida. Colorado legalized marijuana, landed Peyton Manning and have the young and upcoming team of the NBA. Advantage Mile High.

....Peyton Manning as the next GOP Presidential candidate. Seriously, think about it. He wins the South as he played at Tennessee and is a native of Louisiana. Indianapolis and the mid-west loves him. Eli (a darkhorse VP candidate?) can win him New York and the East, while his stint in Denver wins him at least a few Left Coast states. If only he was 4 years elder (unintentional jab at Obama).

....If David Stern was a movie, it would be titled "3 years too long, the man who wouldn't leave...take a hint"

....How many Americans do you think know about the NHL lockout? 10%? 2%? .3%?


No comments:

Post a Comment