David Stern's latest conspiracy

    We will remember the 2012 NFL season for Adrian Peterson's shocking yet inspiring comeback; Reggie Wayne's time travel back to 2007; San Francisco's ballsy yet necessary QB switch; the magic of RGIII, Andrew "it's more than just" Luck and the entire rookie class; emergence of the "muscle hamster" and the Bucs offense; Calvin "you can't guard me!" Johnson and the Lions inevitable late-game collapses; viagra as a performance-enhancing drug...ON THE FIELD; way too many Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers commercials; Roger Goodell nearly becoming Warden Norton 2.0 from Shawshank Redemption; the fight for the first pick between Oakland, KC and Jax for the chance to pick Jarvis Jones; the comical yet overbearing "replacement refs" jokes; the conspiracy of the New York Giants from weeks 9-13 EVERY YEAR; J.J. Watt emerging as a white Mario Williams (cross-racial reference); SF's outstanding defense yet the brash realization that lack of a quarterback will once again cost them the chance for a Super Bowl; John Clayton revealing his mullet.
 
    At the beginning of the year I tossed around ideas in my mind as to who would be in the Super Bowl. I came to the conclusion of the Patriots (the thoughts of Tom Brady summoning his inner 2007 self and throwing deep balls to Brandon Lloyd overwhelmed me) ultimately playing the San Francisco 49er's. Unlike many stubborn analysts I am ready to back away from my pre-season pick and change it up.

    My 3/4 way through the season Super-Bowl pick: Houston Texans over the New York Giants. Andre Johnson SB MVP. Also, only a combined 3 NFL quarterback commercials that would be funny if we hadn't seen them a previous 15 times during the duration of the season. My predictions are almost never {editors note: always} correct, or as Lloyd Christmas would say, "So you're telling me there's a chance...."

   Football is Football and America is America so lets move on! How about some NBA? "How about the New Orleans Pelicans???? Has a great ring to it" says no one ever! The same way I get nervous every time I hear the words "breaking news" and "Pacman Jones" in the same sentence, I can't help but get suspicious when the basketball team from New Orleans is brought up. The name change to the Pelicans has to be some sort of conspiracy. David Stern retires in 2013, remarkably the same year his favorite team, of which he used to own, will change their team name. Am I onto something here? Yes. Next addition in the book "rules and fines added by David Stern in the past two decades", if a team goes through a drastic team mascot change they will automatically receive the first pick and credit for "one trade exemption" (see: Paul, Chris). I may have just figured out the greatest sports conspiracy since Tiger Woods sat out the 2008 season to avoid being tested for steroids. One thing is for sure, David Stern will go out with a bang. What better way then to do something crazy behind the scenes and cover it up with the worst name change of all time. The Pelicans? Really?!?!?!